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. . then. . . . HEDONISTIC GIRLWe seek ourselves in metaphors,Never knowing who or what we areUntil we learn who and what we are not,And, bereft of the opposite sex,I wonder as I wander, seeking, on my quest,A mirror to mirror my true soul,A fountain of the deep that is deeper yetThan the soul I keep, a looking-glassThat does not look upon a topsy-turvyWorld of white rabbits and caterpillars,But it is too much, I think, to ask,And I simplify, hearing, smelling, tasting,Touching, blind to the rest of me,Insensible to revelation, sightless to epiphany,My only metaphor the perceptionOf sensations that defines the hedonistic girl.SCREAMINGFire streams along the nervesSo hot it freezes me,And I become erect,Gathering myselfInto my nipples and my cock,Intensely aware of my breasts,Of my manhood,And of the extreme unctionOf the fused dichotomyOf my forbidden sexuality;I confess, tears hot upon my face,Pleading, praying, to be seenAs much as forgiven,And God sends fire through me,So hot it. Over a mile and a half away I could make out two people on horseback and one of them was leading a horse with something tied on across its back.They were headed generally in my direction and my first thought was that I might finally find out something. My next thought was about the way I was skylining myself on the top of the hill and that I might ought to quit it.Because I couldn't see them all that well with the binoculars from this distance, I walked back down to my trailer and went inside. Pulling back the rug, I took out the Barrett. Its scope was a hell of a lot better than my glasses.Outside again, I rested the Barrett over a handy mesquite branch and took another look at the riders.It don't matter how early you get up in the morning, if it's going to be a bad day it's going to be a bad day. The riders were fairly dark skinned and had long black hair. They were naked or damned nearly so and they didn't have proper saddles or bridles on their mounts, just a sort of pad to sit.
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